This is Maureen writing today, Greg wouldn’t probably share
this, but I will. I share this here, because he often keeps so much in, but I
think it needs to be shared.
Last night Greg asked me how I was dealing with the “whole
thing”. I replied “okay”. It is the conclusion of my spring break and last week
I needed (and got) sleep and rest! Greg replied that nothing has changed for
him, except that I am now home all the time and that is an adjustment for him.
This got me thinking, and thinking.
Nothing has changed for him. The last 9 months, since we’ve
lived on our own again (but really 2 years since losing the ability to drive
and drink alcohol), Greg has been isolated. To paint the picture of the last 9
months: He works remotely, does everyone see the challenge with that now? It’s
not sunshine and rainbows as one might initially think. He cannot drive. So, on
“lunch hour” he can’t go grab lunch and get a little social/people time. He can’t
quick run an errand to pick up an ingredient for dinner, or even go get an ice
cream or a beer after a long day. He can’t drive himself to the gym for a morning,
lunch, or after work workout.
This may sound like an extra, and I know some people do not
have the luxury to go on vacations. We saved and saved and paid off our school
debt before we were even considering taking a vacation. The month after we paid
off our debt, he was diagnosed with cancer, then the epilepsy… So, in the last
few years, we have had to cancel multiple vacations. We had a trip to Europe
planned, we had to cancel it. Then we decided to go all out and take our dream
trip to Hawaii, we had to cancel it due to his seizures occurring more frequently.
Finally, last June we were able to go to Florida with his family. It’s hard
when you CAN’T go on a vacation, when you’ve saved and planned and it’s not
even a choice.
To add to his already isolating situation, I have been
working as a substitute since September. There are times when yes, I work the
bare minimum time clock in, clock out, and take an occasional day or half day
off. However, since January I have been in a full-time substitute position, going
early, staying late, and not getting days off- which has furthered Greg’s
isolation.
Nothing has changed for Greg.
The world is now starting to experience what he lives with.
NOW to the isolation, add Lung Cancer (continues to be
stable praise God), Seizures, and high levels of medication to hopefully keep
the seizures from happening. Try having hours of phone conversations on speaker
phone- yes try it, and tell me if you don’t get a migraine.
Enter severe, chronic migraines to the picture.
When these really started ramping up, in December, Greg was unable
to make it through a church service (for us, Catholic Mass), which is only an
hour long. For four months, he hasn’t been able to join his faith community in
worship. It is hard to worship at home, by yourself, but he has, for four months.
I know, I haven’t really gotten the full picture of
isolation until now. I have lived with its effects yes, and he is a trooper. He
clings and hangs in there longer than many would. So many of these things led
to his hospitalization a few weeks ago. He is doing so much better so far. We
continue to pray.
The ironic thing in ALL of this. Now he’s ready for
socialization. Now he’s ready to volunteer, to meet other people in his
situation or other challenging situations and the world is having to isolate.
I don’t share this to complain. I don’t share this to say,
just stay home and do as you’re told (oh wait, yes I do, so this can all be
over faster). Really. Honestly, I share this, so that you can think of all of
those that live in isolation- chosen or otherwise. The elderly, those
struggling with mental illness, those with illness such that their immune system
doesn’t allow them to go out, those with so many medical issues, like Greg, who
are young and want somewhat of a “normal” life.
I wanted to let you in.
Be smart, stay home, stay safe and find the good right now,
for you this will end but for some it won’t.