Isolation, nothing new for Greg

This is Maureen writing today, Greg wouldn’t probably share this, but I will. I share this here, because he often keeps so much in, but I think it needs to be shared.

Last night Greg asked me how I was dealing with the “whole thing”. I replied “okay”. It is the conclusion of my spring break and last week I needed (and got) sleep and rest! Greg replied that nothing has changed for him, except that I am now home all the time and that is an adjustment for him.

This got me thinking, and thinking.

Nothing has changed for him. The last 9 months, since we’ve lived on our own again (but really 2 years since losing the ability to drive and drink alcohol), Greg has been isolated. To paint the picture of the last 9 months: He works remotely, does everyone see the challenge with that now? It’s not sunshine and rainbows as one might initially think. He cannot drive. So, on “lunch hour” he can’t go grab lunch and get a little social/people time. He can’t quick run an errand to pick up an ingredient for dinner, or even go get an ice cream or a beer after a long day. He can’t drive himself to the gym for a morning, lunch, or after work workout.

This may sound like an extra, and I know some people do not have the luxury to go on vacations. We saved and saved and paid off our school debt before we were even considering taking a vacation. The month after we paid off our debt, he was diagnosed with cancer, then the epilepsy… So, in the last few years, we have had to cancel multiple vacations. We had a trip to Europe planned, we had to cancel it. Then we decided to go all out and take our dream trip to Hawaii, we had to cancel it due to his seizures occurring more frequently. Finally, last June we were able to go to Florida with his family. It’s hard when you CAN’T go on a vacation, when you’ve saved and planned and it’s not even a choice.

To add to his already isolating situation, I have been working as a substitute since September. There are times when yes, I work the bare minimum time clock in, clock out, and take an occasional day or half day off. However, since January I have been in a full-time substitute position, going early, staying late, and not getting days off- which has furthered Greg’s isolation.

Nothing has changed for Greg.

The world is now starting to experience what he lives with.

NOW to the isolation, add Lung Cancer (continues to be stable praise God), Seizures, and high levels of medication to hopefully keep the seizures from happening. Try having hours of phone conversations on speaker phone- yes try it, and tell me if you don’t get a migraine.

Enter severe, chronic migraines to the picture.

When these really started ramping up, in December, Greg was unable to make it through a church service (for us, Catholic Mass), which is only an hour long. For four months, he hasn’t been able to join his faith community in worship. It is hard to worship at home, by yourself, but he has, for four months.  

I know, I haven’t really gotten the full picture of isolation until now. I have lived with its effects yes, and he is a trooper. He clings and hangs in there longer than many would. So many of these things led to his hospitalization a few weeks ago. He is doing so much better so far. We continue to pray.

The ironic thing in ALL of this. Now he’s ready for socialization. Now he’s ready to volunteer, to meet other people in his situation or other challenging situations and the world is having to isolate.

I don’t share this to complain. I don’t share this to say, just stay home and do as you’re told (oh wait, yes I do, so this can all be over faster). Really. Honestly, I share this, so that you can think of all of those that live in isolation- chosen or otherwise. The elderly, those struggling with mental illness, those with illness such that their immune system doesn’t allow them to go out, those with so many medical issues, like Greg, who are young and want somewhat of a “normal” life.

I wanted to let you in.

Be smart, stay home, stay safe and find the good right now, for you this will end but for some it won’t.

Trying To Thrive Not Just Survive

Welcome back to the next Thriving Not Just Surviving post, 

This post has two VERY different parts. I am going to give a recap to help fully understand so please stick with me (this is Maureen by the way).

We just passed three years from his initial cancer diagnosis. That diagnosis alone was a lot, bleak and he conquered it taking Thriving Not Just Surviving as an inspiration to keep fighting for a better life. One year after that diagnosis, he had a seizure which lead to an Epilepsy diagnosis and that part of our challenging journey through uncontrolled seizures for a time, medication changes and hospitalizations with an extensive surgery to save his shoulder. We left our “home” and moved across the state to be close to his doctors and have family support. In December he was diagnosed with severe and chronic migraines and has since battled a few viral things, shingles being one of them. During this time, he hasn’t been able to drive since February 2018, works remotely and hasn’t been able to exercise as he used to.

Through all of this Greg has continued to press on, taking each new thing and pushing on. He is a private person and has struggled to find a therapist/counselor whom he connects with. He has carried all of this.

On Wednesday, Greg willingly went to the hospital for a “Behavioral Risk Assessment”. You speak with a counselor and they determine if you’d benefit from an inpatient stay with full medical support to address emotional, mental, physical needs. Greg was admitted and he has been staying at a local hospital on their “Behavioral Health Unit”. We are not sure how long his stay will be, but don’t anticipate it being that long. We pray that he can be in a better mental and emotional state when he is discharged and can get back to the Thriving part that has always been so important to him.

On a different note, before the above occurred, we applied and were accepted to receive a seizure response service dog! We feel this will be an extra way to provide Greg with freedom, safely and peace of mind! A seizure response dog does not prevent seizures but is HIGHLY trained to assist him in the event of a seizure. They can pull him to safety (if he’s outside, on a hard surface, etc..) as well as bring medication, get immediate assistance and more. We have chosen a program that provides extensive training for the dog and us, as well as a program that comes right to us so we don’t have to travel. The training is ongoing and with someone like Greg whose health changes, we thought this was important! We are fundraising to meet the financial need and invite you to visit our page. If you are able to financially support us, we would be grateful. If you are not, please pray for us and please pass on this information! The process usually takes about 9-12 months but we’d like to raise the money as fast as we can!

Service Dog Link https://tinyurl.com/Not-Just-Surviving

We have received so much support from our communities and are so grateful you’ve walked this journey with us. None of us know where our path leads, and we know each and every one of you have your own challenges in your life. We are just grateful you continue to remain as part of our support system in so many different ways.

Here is a picture from when Greg was first diagnosed and he came up with Thriving Not Just Surviving- this is a good reminder of the hope we had. 

 Here is a picture from last summer, and a favorite for both of us.

Know that you are in our prayers and please, please pray that Greg and I can both get to a place of thriving instead of surviving.